Faith.

Its a funny thing Faith.
People say things like "Have Faith" so easily, and its not.
If you are reading this and you are feeling down, your not alone.
I have been unemployed now for almost 4 months, a third of a year.
More time than I have ever had off before.

At the start you have Faith, you believe in yourself and you believe you are going to get a job and everything is going to be OK.
But that faith comes from a Finite source, a cup of faith that never actually empties but it does develop a crust if nothing is added to it, if nothing stirs the faith it congeals.
Then after a while if the faith comes back, its got to work really hard to get through to crust before it can start supporting you again.

So here I am at 4 months and I am stating to congeal, starting to doubt myself and my abilities.
I know I am not alone and that helps, but I am alone now. Here as I write and the doubt is setting in.

So I try to keep faith, I wake in the morning and I take my son to school, I do jobs round the house, i do what I can to stop the crust developing, but I can feel it there, in the pit of my stomach, slowly filling in the gaps.
If any of my old teams are reading this, I have faith in you.
You are good people, who have worked hard to get where you got.
So let me give you faith.
I wonder who has faith in me.